


Ripper's Mistake

by Djapchan



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: Humor, Light Bondage, M/M, slight D/s
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-20
Updated: 2015-09-20
Packaged: 2018-04-22 13:31:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4837082
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Djapchan/pseuds/Djapchan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>With Buffy gone Xander got bored. Giles feels it as well... so Ripper comes out to play.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ripper's Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this story back in 2006 as one of my first stories in English. I had a different style back then and my English was much worse than it is today (although I still need the help of natural speakers to beta-read my stories ^^). In 2012 AngelsOfGlory666 offered me to beta-read my story. I was pleased and accepted the kind offer. When I read through her corrections I realized, that I could not accept the story as it was and work it over. I was never really content with it in the first place, so I decided, to give it a complete do-over. Basically it’s still the same story with a slightly altered plot.
> 
> Beta: AngelsOfGlory666 and Neenabluegirl

…

Ripper’s Mistakes

A Djap story

…

Xander felt bored to tears as he rubbed his healthy eye tiredly. He yawned for the fourth time in a row and felt the loss of Anya even more so than usual. Although most people might guess otherwise, he missed her most for her constant company. He had loved her, very much so, in his own unique way. Even the times when she acted like a demon and alienated everybody in her near vicinity, she had wanted him and most importantly had wanted sex with him. Not just anyone, not just the nearest warm body but actually him, strange as it was. Still, it would never have worked out. He had done the right thing by deciding to end it before they would hurt each other irrevocably. In the end he had still lost her forever and nothing he could do would ever change that.

He had tried to move on with his life. He had fought bravely in Africa and he had worked his ass off to help rebuild the new council. Half a year ago he had finally returned as Giles asked him for his support in London. The G-man had guided the new council to strength and power, but judging by his own words he was slowly growing tired of the constant power struggle behind the closed council doors. On his last phone call to Africa, Giles had confided in Xander to having serious sounding violent fantasies concerning his two most obnoxious financiers. Xander had chuckled at Giles’ pained groan and booked the next flight to London. 

He had hoped the change in place and work assignment would lift his mood, but it hadn’t worked out as expected. Giles turned out to be too busy for spending time with his old friend from Sunnydale and they talked even less now that they saw each other daily at work as they had living in two different continents. The situation was unbearable and frustrated Xander even more than he had expected. Somehow the culture of Giles home country seemed even more alien to him than Africa had been which was ridiculous since he had known Giles and his occasional odd habits for years.

Other than Giles, he had no friends left living there and somehow he felt too tired to acquire new ones. At first he had tried, but he had only two options: talking to people his age who didn’t know anything about fighting vampires and killing demons or talking to the repressed dunderheads at the council who treated him like something dirty (translate American) which the dogs had dragged inside the building. Speak about a rock and a hard place to choose from. 

So more and more he found himself sitting in his favorite armchair, staring at the fireplace and oozing depression. He should find some nice woman to date and start a relationship with her or at least got down and dirty with her for a change. He was tired of dating his own right hand but somehow it wasn’t as much a bother as dating actual women could be. He felt disconnected from the rest of the world, as if a thick layer of ice had built around his heart. He shied away from emotional intimacy, feeling like a veteran in the war of love. He hadn’t had much luck with the ladies in the past, now had he?

When he had mentioned this to the man living next door, Damien had laughed and offered him a scotch. Xander sometimes visited him to do some much needed repairs in his apartment. Damien must be way beyond 80 years old, but had the wicked sense of humor of a teenager high on Coca Cola. He and Xander had met one evening as once again the elevator of their apartment building was out of order. Damien used a cane to walk, so he nearly fell down the stairs in his desperate attempt to carry his groceries into his apartment. As soon as he saw him stumble Xander rushed to his side and carried the bags for him. He took an instant liking to the elder who was grumpy about his own mishap but grateful under the surface.

When they reached Damien’s flat Xander was shocked at the bad condition of the interior. Their landlord was a self-righteous bastard who exploited the council tenants who depended on him. The sole reason why Xander was living there consisted of the fact that it was situated near to the new council and that he could actually tend to the apartment himself being a carpenter and having worked in construction for many years. He liked working with his hands and his muscles because it relaxed him. At the council he was reduced to being supportive to Giles and organizing slayer maneuvers.

Damien was reluctant to accept Xander’s offer for help. He was used to being alone and working his problems out all by himself. But while Xander put away the groceries as Damien rested his sore leg at the kitchen table, they talked a little, making each other laugh. After that, Damien accepted his help albeit grudgingly and paid Xander back with food. They weren’t exactly what Xander would call friends, but excluding everyone from the council, he was the only British guy he knew more closely.

So one evening, during dinner, Xander heard himself talk about his disastrous love life. Damien just chuckled pouring them both a scotch.

“If I understand your situation correctly, son, you would feel much better if you could have unattached sex on a regular base?”

Xander coughed at the frankly spoken words, as he hadn’t expected the elder to phrase it quite like that. It felt a little uncomfortable to talk to him like this. He could be Xander’s grandfather, although he certainly wasn’t mean enough for that. Xander felt himself nod dumbly, wondering where this question would lead.

“Ever thought about doing other men?” Damien asked, his head cocked and his voice holding honest curiosity. Suddenly many things concerning his neighbor made sense and Xander rolled his eyes at his own stupidity. Why there were no pictures of women anywhere in the flat. Why Damien had refused to answer questions about his past relationships. Why there was no family, no children or grandchildren tending to him in his old age. This realization saddened Xander and only that may have caused him to answer with the truth instead of his usual reassurances.

“Once or twice, when I was younger, but never seriously. I was always busy mooning after Buffy or Willow. Then there were Cordelia and Anya…” his voice trailed off. “I thought about it when Willow turned out to be a lesbian, but there was never an opportunity to actually test it out.”

Damien gave him a long, hard stare. Xander felt uncomfortable under the scrutiny but stood his ground and turned his attention back to the food to wait the situation out. He heard Damien stand up and watched him from under his eyelashes as he fetched a sheet of paper and a pen. After he sat down Damien scribbled something on the paper and pushed it into Xander’s general direction.

The note held an address, obviously of a nearby club. When Xander tried to lift the note up, Damien held onto it, forcing the younger man to look at him. “You may find what you think you need here, but frankly spoken, I think you are lying to yourself. About many things.”

Afterward they never spoke off it again, but Xander hadn’t been able to make himself throw the note away. It rested safely in his bedside drawer under a couple of porn magazines and a box of tissues. So why was he thinking about it all of a sudden again? Had he really become desperate enough to try it out after so many months? A sudden thumping noise from the apartment above his own answered his question. He groaned aloud, palming his face.

Jesus, no. Please not again.

He had no such luck as the bed in the room above started to slap rhythmically against the wall. Two seconds later the moaning started, which always sounded like the desperate wail of a lost puppy and he was up to fetch the note so quickly it bordered on the speed of light. Anything was better than listening to another round of his neighbors going at it like rabbits in heat.

…

Xander didn’t go to the address on the paper right away. Instead he visited two of the bars he usually frequented, spending his time with hitting on women and getting pleasantly drunk. After the third woman rebuffing him he finally had enough and decided to give the whole thing a try. It couldn’t get worse, now could it? He found the bar in question easily enough although he may have turned around and left again if it hadn’t been for a very familiar figure hurrying along the sidewalk. The man was carrying a guitar case and to Xander’s obvious surprise disappeared into the entrance of the brightly lit gay club. Xander rubbed at his healthy eye once again. He must have had too much to drink, because this couldn’t have been Giles, could it?

No way was the "Mr. I'm-The-Boss-Sorry-I-Have-No-Time-For-You-Xander" having a gig in a gay club. Because even if he hadn’t known the nature of the establishment before, Giles surely would have recognized it by now, as there was a giant rainbow colored flag hanging over the entrance. If that wasn’t enough of a clue, the kissing couple right next to the entrance certainly would have been one.

Xander clenched his teeth in annoyance. He knew it was Giles, dammit. There was no way he could have mistaken him for someone else. Why had he never said anything about it? Yes, they had been mere kids at the beginning, but all of them were grown-ups now. He could have told them. Especially after Willow. So why didn’t he? Wasn’t Xander even this much of a friend to him to confide something important like this? At least Xander finally understood why Giles hadn’t invited him to his concerts anymore. Why Giles had claimed he wouldn’t have anymore gigs. Why Giles had lied to him, over and over again.

Xander felt enough anger and hurt about his new discovery to lose all inhibitions and only a few seconds later he barged into the club with war on his mind. The club was crammed full of dancing and drinking people, the techno beat loud and noisy in his ear. The air was muggy and he could not see any women at all, but other than that it felt like any other club he had seen before. It felt somewhat anticlimactic. What had he been afraid of all that time? Yes, okay, there was a considerable amount of men kissing and groping each other farther down in the back of the club, but that left him surprisingly undisturbed. The furniture looked pleasing and comfy consisting of black and white velvety sofas and lightly colored wooden tables. The bar also featured wooden panels and about twenty men were fighting with elbows and knees to attract the attention of the barkeeper. 

Xander took a quick look around but couldn’t catch a glimpse of Giles. In one corner he detected a small stage, which seemed ready for an upcoming performance. Some men were already taking their seats in front of it and others stood patiently waiting at the back wall, beer in hand and eyes fixed on the door to what must be the backstage room.

Xander shrugged and decided he could wait to confront Giles with his new observations until after the concert. He fetched himself a sweet cocktail and found himself a seat to wait for the show to begin. He felt a little miffed as nobody actively tried to make a pass at him. He had long ago stopped being the goofy one of the Scooby gang and had grown into an attractive man. He had thought his leather jacket and his muscular build would draw at least some attention, but nothing had happened since he entered. Were there existing special behavioral rules Damian hadn’t told him about? Xander had seen some men throw appreciative glances in his direction, at least he had thought so, but most of them had quickly turned their attention back to the stage.

Half an hour later the excitement had become tangible in the air and when the backstage door opened, everybody stared in its direction. A blond man with a ridiculous looking mustache stepped onto the stage and quieted the people in the room for his announcement. “Good evening gents. Let’s give a warm hand to Ripper, who we have been waiting for all night long.” All man started clapping wildly while some of them started to whistle and yell. They jumped, screamed, and whistled without end, until the entertainer left the stage and made room for the musician.

Xander frowned, wondering why Giles would chose to perform as Ripper. During his former gigs he had seldom used his actual given name, but never this nickname, which he had always claimed to have left behind many years ago. In the past Xander had gotten the impression that Giles didn't like being remembered of this part of his life, especially if it had anything to do with Ethan Rayne. Xander suddenly groaned as another epiphany hit his fuzzy brain. If this wasn’t the first time Giles played in this bar and judging by the reactions of the men around him it certainly wasn’t, had he done similar things during his teenage and College years too? Had Rayne and Ripper been…?

Xander’s train of thought was rudely interrupted as Giles finally stepped onto the stage. Suddenly it didn’t sound weird at all, that he would chose to perform as Ripper. The stuffy ex-librarian, tweed-man, Buffy’s ex-watcher, Xander’s ex-father-figure and now the new Head of Council, surely wasn't standing on this stage. The man standing in his place looked forbidden, demanding, self-assured, and very, very sexy. He wore a black satin shirt over skintight leather trousers with black, heavy boots. Unlike the other times when the Ripper part of Giles persona had shown itself he was wearing his glasses with pride and Xander wondered where exactly that thought had come from. Since when did he find glasses sexy? Especially when they rested on the nose of Rupert Giles? Ripper’s hair looked also slightly rumpled, as if he had fallen out of bed just a few moments earlier, but Xander was convinced that this rugged, untamed hairstyle was very much intentional.

Xander’s mouth salivated and for the first time in a very long time he felt like a teenager, becoming painfully hard just by looking at Giles. It had been a long while since he had lusted after another man and even longer since he had lusted after Giles, a fact he usually didn’t even admit to himself. Xander’s internal dialogue was interrupted as Ripper started his show. He sat on a bar stool and started playing his guitar, looking around in his audience, searching. The room fell instantly silent and it seemed as if everybody held their breath waiting for the first words of the song. Eventually Ripper started to sing and Xander’s brain stopped working completely as the blood in his brain was needed elsewhere. 

In the end Xander had no idea which songs Ripper had played, only that all of them were very captivating in their own way. For the whole performance Xander stood there with his eyes firmly fixed on this familiar but foreign figure, forgetting about the rest of the world and everything else, just listening silently and enjoying every second of the performance. He had heard Giles sing on a stage before and he had been awesome back then as well, but it could not be compared to this. Performing as Ripper gave Giles the freedom to lose himself in his music, to be for once, exactly who he was and not who everybody else wanted him to be.

But all great things come to an end at some point and way too soon Ripper played the last tunes of his last song for the evening. The applause and the whistling didn't stop for a long while, not until Ripper left the stage for good. While Xander tried to process the whole situation of what he had just witnessed, he noticed the continued restlessness of the other patrons. Something was up and Xander was curious what the next attraction would be. The men around him still stared at the backstage door and Xander decided to inquire why, so he addressed the man sitting across the table. 

The men smirked broadly. “You are new here, boy, aren’t you? Whenever Ripper sees a person to his liking during his concerts, the man in question is in for a very delightful treat, if you catch my drift.” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively and Xander swallowed hard. Well, he certainly hadn’t expected to hear that but it explained at least why none of the other man had made a move on him yet. He could feel a few interested looks, but obviously everybody was waiting for Ripper to make his choice first, in case they would get lucky that night. He couldn’t blame them. His own treacherous dick thought exactly the same. Xander actually knew better than to wait, but his damn curiosity got the better of him. He could confront Giles the next day at work, so he should leave now, but he died of curiosity to learn who Ripper would choose to be with. Perhaps he could use the knowledge to tease the G-Man in the future.

Xander turned his attention back to the man sitting across. "Do you have any idea who it will be?"

"No, but he never chooses the same man twice. He doesn’t seem to have a particular type either. He takes whatever pleases him most in each particular moment." The man explained readily while checking Xander out and licking his lips. Xander shivered unpleasantly. The man wasn’t exactly what he would call his type, especially not for his first night out with a guy. He tried to return to the topic at hand. "What happens, if the person he chooses turns him down?"

The guy looked at him without understanding. "Why would anybody be that dim-witted?" Xander had to say, the guy had a point. If he didn’t know the Giles inside Ripper, he would have thought exactly the same. Giles performing as Ripper on a stage was pure sex and any person turning him down had to be out of his right mind. As Xander came to realize that he wouldn’t be able to possibly turn down such a man of pure unadulterated, sultry, mad sex appeal either, the possible doorway to heaven opened and the room fell utterly silent again.

…

A few moments earlier Rupert Giles had been struggling in an internal discussion with his alter ego as he stared at the mirror in front of him.

“You can’t go out there, Ripper. I won’t allow it. Not tonight.”

_Why not? _The reflection in the mirror looked smug, even evil as he smirked.__

“You know exactly why. We both saw him sitting there. It would destroy everything. I can’t allow that to happen. I can’t allow us to lose him.”

The reflection rolled his eyes. _You don’t know that, Rupert. He has surprised you in the past. He has seen me in you before and he has stayed your friend through thick and thin. You know you can’t go on like this. You need a connection to your past, a vivid one, or you will break sooner or later, taking me down with you. I won’t allow it. ___

“He can’t be that for me. He is nothing but a child I promised to protect with my life.”

Ripper snarled angrily _I know you better, Rupert. Spare me your delusions and give us both the courtesy of staying with the truth. You have always been a bad liar. He has grown up, at the latest when he had to bury his former fiance. I know you have wanted him before, so why not give it a chance now? Shagging him doesn’t mean you can’t protect him anymore. You don’t need to protect him from me as he has quite sufficiently dealt with me before. ___

“I don’t even think he’s queer. I have no idea why he is sitting in this particular club of all possible places. He could have followed me, even on council orders. He…”

Ripper looked downright pissed now. _Don’t give me this shit, Rupert. This boy would never deceive you. You are just afraid of your own feelings. ___

“He can’t be my connection to everything. When this turns sour, I will lose my last true friend.”

_Quit with the whining, Rupert. You saw how he looked at you. He wants you. Has probably wanted you for years. Ripper’s smirk was back in place and he leered at Rupert. Plus he’s quite the attractive little whelp. Be a man for once and take what you want, or I will do it for you. ___

“I won’t allow you to…”

_Oh shut up and come. People are waiting for us. ___

__…_ _

__As Xander saw Ripper standing in the door frame his heart made an unexpected leap. Even without the guitar Ripper looked gorgeous while he took the initiative of checking out some of the guys around him. Xander was so curious about whom Giles would choose, that he didn't take notice in Giles heading directly towards him. When Xander finally realized what was happening his heart started pounding harshly against his chest._ _

__Suddenly a large guy positioned himself right in front of Ripper not giving him any space in contrast to the other man standing around. Ripper blinked perplexed and granted the large guy with an incredulous and intimidating stare. He was taller than Xander, muscular, wearing too much black leather and looked entirely too sure of himself for his tastes. For a short moment Xander expected a fight as the bulky guy tried to intimidate Ripper. In a way it was funny to watch since Xander knew Ripper could mop the floor with this idiot any time without even breaking a sweat. Years upon years of fighting vampires and demons had taught both Ripper and Giles how to handle any human being. To the surprise of everybody looking on the fight never even started. Ripper just stared at the man with a lifted eyebrow and an expectant smirk until the bulky guy bowed his head and made room for him to pass. Nobody paid the looser any attention as he hurriedly left the club without looking back. Xander chuckled at the funny situation until he realized that Ripper had finally reached his destination and was now standing across from him, pointedly staring, obviously expecting an explanation for his presence._ _

__When no suitable explanation came forth, Ripper felt compelled to clarify his question by using actual words. "Do you want to tell me, what in the nine hells you are doing here, Harris?"_ _

__Xander shivered involuntarily at the purred question, especially at the hissed ‘s’ at the back of his last name, but suddenly years spent as the school clown paid off, as he easily found back to cocky speech. "Having fun."_ _

__"You don't even know the meaning of this word yet, boy." Ripper stated self-confident while some men standing around them gasped in distress. They certainly had a clear image about what Ripper may consider fun, this much was for sure._ _

__"So what you are trying to tell me is that you know the meaning of the word?" Xander challenged and felt incredulous glares directed towards him all around the room. It didn’t seem like the Ripper’s prey usually said anything but, ‘Yes,’ or ‘Take me right here!’ or similar nonsense. But this wasn’t the first time Alexander with the Ripper, and he wouldn’t let him take the lead that easily._ _

__"Are you suggesting I don't?" Ripper challenged, voice lowered to a warning, but eyes twinkling with amused surprise._ _

__"Well, show me and we shall see." For a short moment Xander thought he saw shock and utter disbelief in the green of Giles’ eyes, shortly overlapping Ripper’s brown ones. The moment passed quickly as Ripper leaned into Xander’s personal space, grabbed him around his hips, and kissed him fiercely._ _

__Out of the corner of his good eye Xander could see some of the men’s eyes glaze over at that scene playing out in front of them. He was able to notice it because the kiss was… well, it wasn't particularly good. There was too much tongue and too much haste in it. The movement was frantic and the clicking of their teeth against each other didn't really make it better. Xander felt thoroughly disheartened as Ripper finally stopped the assault on his abused lips._ _

__So much for the looks and the content of the package. Xander thought disenchanted._ _

__As the kiss ended Ripper looked smug though and Xander hadn't the heart to tell him otherwise, at least not in front of their audience. Instead he grinned with plucked up courage, licking his lips seemingly absent-minded. "I see. Do you have something special in mind for my lessons?"_ _

__"I guess we will both take our pleasure in my lecture. Follow me, boy." Ripper ordered and Xander followed on his heels to the backroom, leaving the rest of the world behind._ _

__…_ _

__As soon as the door clicked shut behind them Ripper was all over Xander again, although this time in a non-sexual manner and with real menace in his voice. “What the hell are you doing here, Harris?” he repeated his former question angrily._ _

__Xander rolled his eyes unimpressed. He had to thank the stupid kiss for clearing his mind although by now he would have preferred not to have had the pleasure. If they hadn’t kissed he would have at least had the enjoyment of wondering how it would have been to do it. Knowing the answer was… brutally honest and depressing. “I could ask you exactly the same. I have asked you over the course of two weeks to go out with me, but you couldn’t spare me even a few hours. Instead I find you here, in this club, hunting for male prey. You could have at least told me you prefer sex to my company. I would have understood. But no, you have to go all Mr. Tweed on me and treat me like a stupid child who doesn’t know about shit.”_ _

__Ripper crossed his arms, fuming, as he backed off a little and leaned against the far wall. “Well, you know the truth now, whelp. Happy?”_ _

__Xander shook his head in negative. “Of course not.” He answered, trying to calm himself. Yelling at Ripper wouldn’t bring him anywhere and Giles was too important to alienate him by acting like the child he had implied he was. “Of course I am not happy, Ripper. Look at you. How could I be happy if you are this miserable?”_ _

__Ripper snorted, taken aback by Xander’s seriousness and insight. Perhaps he actually had underestimated the whelp after all. “I have no idea what you are talking about. I do what I want, with whom I want.”_ _

__“I never said you couldn’t.” Xander reasoned calmly. “I just argued that there is a difference between the Ripper who performed on this stage and the Ripper who is hunting every night for new prey. I know you well enough to see that this is not at all what you crave. The old Ripper may have wanted this, but I know the Giles part in you is different. You can’t completely ignore him because it would leave you both miserable in the end.”_ _

__“I saw you looking at me, boy. Do you really think you could take us both on? Be what we both need?”_ _

__Xander blinked, surprised at his own conviction behind his following words. When exactly had he grown up to this? “I have been engaged to a vengeance demon and survived breaking up on our wedding day. Yes, I think I can take both of you on. As for whether I can be what you both need? I don’t know. We will never know until we try it out.”_ _

__Ripper fixated him with another annoyed glance while he considered Xander’s words and his honesty. Xander had the feeling he could see some Giles-green in his eyes as he finally demanded to know why he had been in this part of the city. Xander shrugged, deciding to answer with the truth. He explained about his conversation with Damien and how he had been curious to finally give doing guys a try._ _

__“So you don’t have been with blokes before?” Ripper asked curiously, smirk appearing back on his face._ _

__Xander shrugged again. “No. But you knew Anya. There wasn’t much we didn’t try in bed one time or another. I have a slight foreboding what I am getting myself into. Besides…” Xander frowned, realizing just then what else a sexual relationship with Ripper could entail. “…that is not the real matter you are worried about.” Xander cocked his head, gaze fixed on the slightly fidgeting Ripper. Interesting. He seemed actually nervous. How exceptionally uncharacteristic of him.“Fine. I won’t agree to anything spell or blood related during sex. Usually I’m not into actual pain, but I had my moments in the past. Other than that you know me well enough. My answer to a reasonable question for sex is always, Yes, Please. I have also reason to assume this won’t change in the foreseeable future.”_ _

__Ripper smirked, purring his next words. “You have still not the slightest idea what you are getting yourself into, Harris.”_ _

__“Maybe, but I am at least sure that we need to address the kiss-issue.” Xander stated matter-of-fact and waited for the explosion._ _

__“There is no such thing as the kiss-issue. Don’t tell me you don’t kiss, Harris.” Ripper warned growling. “I have spent countless years watching you have a tonsillectomy with a ridiculously long array of female partners.”_ _

__“I never said I don’t kiss. I just wondered why the kiss in the club was so incredibly bad. Was it nerves or didn’t you put your heart in it since we did it only for show?”_ _

__Ripper just stared at him, his mouth hanging open. “What do you mean with ‘bad kiss’?” He finally demanded to know, eyes round as saucers._ _

__“Well, it wasn’t what I would call earth shattering…” Xander explained frowning. Was Ripper really serious?_ _

__“You didn’t just claim that I was a bad kisser, did you?” Ripper growled, marching him over against the next available flat surface, which happened to be the door. “How do we know it isn’t you who is the bad kisser around here?”_ _

__Xander rolled his eyes, wriggling a little since the door handle was poking him unpleasantly in the kidney. “A few moments earlier you didn’t even seem to have realized that the kiss was far away from being perfect and now I am the bad kisser? Don’t be ridiculous.”_ _

__"I'll show you who the bad kisser here is!" Ripper nearly roared, gripping him and plundering his mouth. It was… it still wasn't good. It was slightly better, but only a fraction more, and Xander felt himself sighing deeply, after it was over. "See." Ripper wiped his mouth, grinning just a moment with triumph before Xander leaned over, caught his head in both his hands and actively started kissing him back. First Ripper struggled to get free of his grip, then he groaned deep in his throat before going slack in Xander’s arms, as he let the younger man kiss him as he'd like. Ripper’s eyes were dazed as they parted again and this time the smug grin was on Xander’s side. "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about."_ _

__Ripper needed a moment to collect himself before he growled. "Just so you know, Harris, I'm a top."_ _

__“Jeez, I know that. I am a pushy bottom, as you may have figured already. Otherwise we would not have this discussion in the first place. Now please, quit your whining!"_ _

__"I would never whine…" Ripper whined, causing Xander to smirk pointedly. It was Rippers turn to roll his eyes in annoyance. Damn this whelp was confusing. First he went all Alpha on him just to state in this serious, infuriating and calm voice that he considered himself a bottom. Where was Ripper’s past gone to, when young people were still taught about old-fashioned role-models? It had to be those stupid American TV shows that affected their brain capacity, and…_ _

__Ripper’s internal monologue was rudely interrupted as Xander pulled him into another toe curling kiss._ _

__“Now stop thinking, Ripper, and take me to bed.” Ripper didn’t need to be told twice._ _

__…_ _

__They ended up in Xander’s apartment as Giles’ was under way too much scrutiny by the security guards. Giles was the Head of the New Council and there wasn’t much he could do about security procedures, so he had simply evaded his guards earlier. It wouldn’t do to bring Xander there, at least not before they knew this could really become something serious, so they had decided on Xander’s home._ _

__Once the door was locked behind them, Ripper was once again all over Xander. He seemed to have a preference for pushing his partners against vertical surfaces and what he still seemed to lack in finesse about kissing matters he certainly made up with enthusiasm and expertise on other occasions. Xander shut his eyes in blissful stupefaction as Ripper licked and nibbled a trail over his chin to his throat. He felt hands shove his leather Jacket from his shoulders and shivered in anticipation as his shirt was pushed out of the way so that this talented mouth could feast on his defenseless neck and shoulder. A knee was pressed between his legs and soon enough a firm thigh was rubbing against his half-hard erection. Xander moaned his appreciation and leaned his head back against the wall, while he matched the rhythm of the thrusting thigh._ _

__A capable hand wormed its way under his shirt after pulling it from his trousers and trailed upwards to tweak his right nipple. Xander yelped in surprise and bucked his hips once, grinning broadly at the pleasant sensations. It had been way too long since he had done this with anybody and doing it with his teenage crush gave him an unexpected rush of arousal._ _

__“Where’s the bedroom?” Ripper whispered suddenly in his ear, nibbling on the lobe while he waited for directions. Xander frowned and stopped stroking Rippers back. “You want to do it in the bedroom?” He asked incredulous._ _

__Ripper blinked, irritated. “The last time I checked, bedrooms contained beds, which seem highly appropriate for situations like these.”_ _

__Xander just stared, before he pouted. “Here I thought I went out with Ripper and this is the most exciting scenario you can come up with? Are you serious? Because in that case, there’s the door. I don’t submit to a man without at least a little imagination and love of adventures.”_ _

__Ripper stared back, unblinking. “You’re serious, aren’t you? You really are a pushy bottom and you are also perfectly aware of the mechanics of submission.” He asked seeking clarification._ _

__Xander smirked. “Giving in too easily would deprave both master and submissive of their fun. If I don’t give you any chances to punish me, how should you be able to educate me?” Given their former relationship as school librarian and pupil and their enormous age gap, a talk about education really shouldn’t turn Giles on like this. Gratefully Ripper was in control of the situation and not only didn’t he care about such trivial matters, but he could also feel Harris’ cock jump against his thigh at the suggestion. He would be stupid to let such a beautiful situation go to waste._ _

__“When I decide that I want to take you in your bedroom right now and you refuse to show it to me, I will get the opportunity to discipline you for your insubordination?”_ _

__“That depends on whether you can handle me or not. You know the famous Harris’ stubbornness and you may also know how easily I can get bored. I certainly expect my top to come up with the inventive ideas to spice things a little up.” Xander challenged, eyes twinkling with mischief._ _

__“Fine. I’ll improvise then.” Ripper growled, incredibly turned on. He observed with a smug grin how Xander lost his balance for a moment, when he pulled abruptly away from him. The way Harris’ hips pumped twice into thin air brought a mean smirk to his face, reassured that he could still keep up with a cocky youth like Xander Harris. On a whim, he opened the first door in reach, marching inside without giving Xander a second look. He gazed around, taking his surroundings into account._ _

__“What are you doing in my kitchen?” Xander asked a little irritated as he appeared behind him in the door frame._ _

__"I haven't been in your flat before so I just decided I'll have to explore it by myself – in my own way. Well, that's your kitchen… nice. So any suggestions where you want to start from here?"_ _

__Harris’ grin broadened. "Counter or table… that's a tricky question. Depends on what kind of activities you're suggesting. Food sex or rather the less messy sexual practices to start with…"_ _

__"Food sex it is…" Ripper growled and pushed Xander onto the kitchen table._ _

__…_ _

__"Wait, I'll have to loosen the belt before…" Ripper quickly discarded the towel with which he had tried to wipe away the offending substance of Xander’s naked back. The younger man lay over the wooden kitchen table, with his hands tied to one of the table’s legs, shirtless, but still wearing his jeans and sneakers. Ripper had used Xander’s own belt to bind him to the furniture and he was now trying to loosen it while the other man was wiggling and cursing loudly. "But it burns, yet tickles all in the same. Just cut this damn belt in half so I can scratch my back. Damn, hurry or I’ll go crazy…"_ _

__Ripper stopped wrestling with the belt, took a quick search around the kitchen counter and spotted a razor-sharp knife with which he finally slashed through the leather. Xander jumped instantly off the table before he reached around and started scratching his back like a feral animal._ _

__"I don’t think it’s a very bright idea to scratch such a severe rash, Harris…” Ripper admonished only to receive a murderous look from his partner. “Well, I don’t think it’s a very bright idea to lecture me right now, Ripper.” Xander scratched his back again, before wincing in obvious pain. "Why in the name of all gods above did you have to use the peanut butter?"_ _

__“Because that’s one of the few American food items I actually happen to like and I thought it a bright idea to start our food sex with licking it from your back. Why do you even have peanut butter around if you are this allergic to it?”_ _

__"Using formic acid would have been nicer, Einstein. Because Willow loves it for breakfast when she pays me one of her surprise visits and I always have a stash for her, because it isn’t exactly what I would call easy to get the good stuff around here. By the way, you should know all this already."_ _

__"Why should I? I didn't even know you had these allergies…"_ _

__"Since Buffy moved to Sunnydale, she and the girls enjoyed teasing me about it every single day of my miserable life. They didn't stop until I was twenty-one, and I'm sure you must have been there to hear it one time or another. You probably didn’t pay any attention to the simple-minded problems of the dumb Scooby, did you?"_ _

__Ripper kept his silence to this. He knew Xander well enough to know it wouldn’t help to argue with him when he got like this. Besides, he was right in a way. During his time as school librarian he hadn’t actually paid much attention to Xander’s problems as long as they weren’t work related. He had mourned this misbehavior of himself many times already and it wouldn’t do either of them any good to admit it. Instead he decided to go for the more practical approach to the situation. "Where do you store your medical ointment?"_ _

__"The second door on the right is the bathroom. Try the lowest shelve right above the sink and look for a violet tube." Xander started scratching again, but then he thought better about it and fetched himself and his guest something to drink. The scotch had a nice brown-golden color and the liquid went smoothly down their throats after Ripper had returned with the right tube."You've got a fine bathroom, Harris, which looks very cozy." Ripper finally offered, a sly grin reappearing on his lips._ _

__Xander frowned at the obviously flirtatious tone. "Thank you, but could we possibly talk about my sense for interior design after you have applied the ointment to my back? After all it's your damn fault that I'm hurting…" he complained whining._ _

__Ripper ignored Xander’s protests, took his hand and guided him right back to the bathroom. "I may know something better for your back than just applying this ointment. I’ll promise to take proper care of you…"_ _

__…_ _

__Xander Harris' bathroom was indeed a very comfy room to be in. There was not only a shower in it, but also a toilet and a big enough bathtub for two. The walls were made of dark blue and white tiles, lined with a gold edging. It gave it a somewhat royal touch. The thick steam in the room condensed at the large mirror, where it dripped right on the dark floor made of black tiles. Currently a pair of jeans, sneakers, two pairs of socks, leather trousers and a black silk shirt lay discarded on the tiles, forming a trail from the bathroom door to the bathtub. They have obviously been taken off in haste, as the shirt featured a large tear in the seam and at least one button had gone missing under the basin._ _

__Xander sat cradling his head in his hands, while he was cursing loudly. Again. From Xander's nose dripped a thin crimson line right into the still steaming bathwater, while he felt a growing bump under his auburn hair. "What the hell was that about? Have you lost your mind or what?"  
Ripper couldn't answer right away, because he was currently crouched down in the tub, where he shielded his hurting balls from further damage. _ _

__One minute earlier everything had still been working out perfectly fine. Ripper had been holding a warm armful of snugly Xander, while they had both been enjoying the hot water in the bathtub. Then Ripper had tried to upgrade the comforting situation by softly caressing Xander's skin with his fingertips. Initially he had intended to let his hand travel slowly over Xander’s forearm to his abdomen and down to his erection to sensually jerk him off to relax him further, as suddenly things had gone terribly wrong. Xander had some sort of spasm all of the sudden and tried to jump up. He didn’t succeed and lost his balance as he slipped in the tub before he landed with a loud crash directly on Ripper._ _

__“You accuse me of having lost my mind?” Ripper groaned, still concentrating on his breathing as he tried not to throw up. “I wasn’t the one who suddenly sprang up in the middle of your bathtub. That was you.”_ _

__“Just because you kept tickling me all the time. How was I supposed to react instead?” Xander yelled back, sounding funny with his nose still bleeding._ _

__For a small moment Ripper was too perplexed to shield his still hurting ball. Then he burst out laughing so hard, tears sprang to his eyes. Xander looked up annoyed, pouting. “What the hell is so funny about this?” he demanded to know but only made Ripper laugh harder. Xander was about to leave the tub for good, when Ripper reached for his arm and pulled him down into the water. He finally quieted down enough to speak, rubbing the tears from his face. “You did all that wiggling around because you were ticklish?” he finally asked hiccuping._ _

__“Of course.”Xander’s pout deepened. “What did you think I was doing?”_ _

__“Urging me on? Being you bratty impatient self? Hell, we really need to work on our communication, boy. Why didn’t you just tell me? I would have stopped…”_ _

__“You would?” Xander sounded really surprised._ _

__Ripper cocked his head frowning. “Certainly. It wouldn’t do to make a partner uncomfortable by tickling him when I try to have sex.”_ _

__“So you wouldn’t use my ticklish spots against me during sex?” Xander asked for clarification and Ripper nodded. “Not during sex, no.” he promised as he saw Xander’s eyes becoming slits._ _

__“That’s all you will promise me, isn’t it?” Xander asked sarcastically, knowing it wasn’t beneath Ripper to use his weakness against him any other time. Ripper just answered with a smug grin and Xander rolled his eyes. “Fine. Just quit the soft caresses and I should be fine for now. So can we please get back to business?” he whined, feeling somewhat stupid._ _

__Ripper shook his head. “No. Let’s check your injuries out first. I want you to enjoy this and you won’t be able to do that when you are in too much pain._ _

__Xander gave him a look. “I’m a big boy, Ripper. I know when we need to stop to check my injuries…” Ripper interrupted him with a deep growl._ _

__“It’s not up for discussion, Harris.” He hissed. “Grab that towel over there to stop the bleeding and go over to the living room. I will join you shortly with the First Aid Kit.”_ _

__Xander seemed ready to argue, but when he saw Ripper’s stern look he thought better of it and obviously decided against it. Instead he stood, dried himself up and went obediently to the living room, waiting for his lover to join him._ _

__…_ _

__Half an hour later, two naked silhouettes sat quietly on the sofa of the spacious living room in Xander’s apartment, each nursing a steaming cup of liquid. In Ripper’s case it turned out to be a cup of tea, while Xander’s sweet tooth had reared its ugly head demanding a hot chocolate. Both sat in comfortable silence as they soaked up the heat of the crackling fireplace. Even sitting there as Ripper and Harris instead of as Giles and Xander they knew each other well enough to skip the mindless chatter. Over the years Xander had learned to keep his oral fixation in crucial moments at bay and kept his mouth closed when the situation asked for a little serenity. The silence turned out soothing and they probably would have fallen asleep on each other’s shoulders if Xander hadn’t made a curious observation. “Ripper?”_ _

__“Yes?”_ _

__“I like how comfortable you are in your skin, sitting here with me all naked.”_ _

__Ripper lifted a questioning eyebrow. “You sound surprised.”_ _

__Xander feigned indifference. “Over the years I have mostly known Giles as man-who-probably-wears-tweed-even-to-bed. With us Giles has always been very buttoned-up even when we started to grow up. It’s nice to finally meet his more human side.”_ _

__“It would not have been particular wise to show off the sign of Eyghon to everybody.” Ripper studied him for a few seconds, brows furrowed. “But that’s not all of it, Harris. What is the real point of this conversation?”_ _

__Xander didn’t even pretend to misunderstand him. Instead he gingerly touched a long scar on Ripper’s chest, softly traveling its course with just the slightest touch of his fingertips._ _

__Ripper’s features darkened for a moment, but he didn’t pull back from his touch, which Xander gauged as positive reaction. “You have already seen them before. You were the first one to see them when you rescued me from Angelus’ clutches.”_ _

__Xander picked another scar to give it equally as much attention. He saw Giles goose pimple and if Xander wasn’t imaging things, he saw his cock twitch slightly too. He started smirking. “You made sure that we would never see them again later on.”_ _

__Ripper placed the empty mug on the coffee table and leaned back, giving Xander as much access to his chest as he wanted. Ripper crossed his arms behind his head and sighed. “That’s only half of the truth. I didn’t want Buffy to see them. She felt guilty enough about the whole situation. I didn’t want to make it even worse. It wasn’t her fault. Not really. Besides…” Ripper suddenly hissed and this time Xander was sure he had seen the older man’s cock twitch. He intensified his ministrations by leaning in and placing soft licks along his collar bone and neck. “Besides what…?”_ _

__“Besides, I like my scars. I don’t think they are disgusting. I don’t like to remember how I got them, but they…” another breathy moan interrupted him “…they remind me, who I am and what I survived. What doesn’t kill people makes them stronger.”_ _

__“On the plus side, you are quite pleasing on the eyes too.” Xander whispered against the skin under his lips, his right hand searching and finding a nipple to play with. He felt Ripper chuckle. “You clearly mean for a man my age. I guess we can attribute that to my combat training sessions with the slayerettes. It helped me to maintain my shape.”_ _

__“I stopped thinking of you as old when I turned thirty. Age suddenly seemed different once I breached that particular milestone. To me you are not old now and I realize that you weren’t really as old as we thought you were when you were still our school librarian.” Xander took the opportunity to shift his position and sit on Ripper’s lap, bringing both their half erect cocks into direct contact. The following kiss smothered the groan rising in their throats._ _

__Moments later Ripper had reversed their position with an expert twist of his legs and loomed grinning over Harris. He encircled Xander’s wrists and pointedly positioned them over his head, shooting him a warning look. Xander signalized his understanding with a slight nod and a sly grin. He gripped the couch cushions behind him and licked his lips as he watched Ripper bend to his latest task. Ripper lost no time to carve a pathway along Xander’s body, mapping out every scar, every dip of skin and every tender patch of flesh._ _

__At some point Xander started to wiggle but quickly thought better of it and instead addressed the matter directly. “Around the navel, on the inside of my thighs and on my hips I’m incredibly ticklish, so…”_ _

__“Understood.” Ripper mumbled against his skin, bending down to place a playful bite on Xander’s stomach. This time Xander wiggled due to a surge of heat racing along his spine but judging by the content chuckle emanating from Ripper, Xander didn’t need to explain that movement. “Well, I better make sure you are not ticklish there…” Ripper mused, causing Xander to gasp aloud as he expertly gripped his flushed and swollen flesh, nestled between two strong thighs. He palmed his erection twice learning its texture and watching Xander’s reactions closely. While he pulled a needy mewl from Xander’s lips his smirk softened into a fond smile. “It looks fine, but we should investigate it further, don’t you think?”_ _

__Xander shut his eyes tightly at the following onslaught on his senses. He tried to remember Star Trek episodes in the right order to prevent himself from coming way too quickly. It wouldn’t do to embarrass himself like this early in his new relationship. The couch dipped slightly under the moving weight of Ripper’s heavy body, but the expected blow-job didn’t come._ _

__Instead Ripper’s wickedly talented hands decided to play Xander’s body like an instrument. It seemed as if Ripper had suddenly grown a second pair of hands as he started massaging Xander's balls before tenderly cradling them, fondling his cock, caressing his thighs and scratching his heated skin with sharp nails. Still, the last functioning bits of Xander’s brain piped in to demand a wet, hot mouth on his very own little Scooby. He figured Ripper wanted him to beg, so shamelessly he did. "Come on, Ripper, please. Suck me off." He whimpered, forcing his eyes open to watch Ripper’s face while going for it._ _

__Xander nearly didn’t trust his eyes when he saw Ripper flinch. But he hadn’t imagined it. The hesitation was there, even if only for a second. Was there even anger on Ripper’s features? Actual disgust? It was intensive enough for Xander to shove Ripper’s head away, once the man had finally bent down to take the tip of his erection into his mouth. Unsurprisingly Ripper reacted with anger to Xander's obvious indecision on what he wanted him to do and what not. "What is it with you, Harris? First pleading and now… What do you want from me?" he snapped sitting back on his heels, wiping his mouth with the heel of his right hand._ _

__"I want…" Xander attempted to get his breath back under control, "I want you to do only those things you actually like. I didn't think of the possibility that you might not like giving head. I apologize for being inconsiderate. I need you to know that you don't have to do anything just to please me."_ _

__Ripper jumped up from the floor and began pacing the living room like a caged animal. "I don't know what your stupid head came up with this time, Harris, but it can't be anything with a connection to reality." His answer stung, but Xander was not sure if it was due to being referred to as stupid or because of the bold lie. The hurt of Ripper’s words was obviously evident in his eyes, because Ripper drew a sharp breath as the younger man’s gaze turned downward. Xander took a calming breath and counted backwards from ten. He wouldn’t allow Ripper to anger him as a shouting match would get them nowhere. "So what is it? Is it the smell, the taste? Does it remind you that your partner is male? Is it too submissive for your taste? Or did… did someone force you to do it? Angel perhaps? Perhaps someone even… raped you?" Xander finally hazarded, wondering whether the direct approach would get him somewhere._ _

__"In the ninth hell no. No one… raped me, ever. Not even… him. Besides, it would only be another scar he gave me, nothing else. He was just a monster. He couldn't have…"_ _

__Xander’s eyes narrowed in sudden understanding. “A friend then? Someone close to you? Who hurt you?” Ripper seemed furious at Xander’s sudden insight on the whole situation. “This is nothing of your concern, Harris. I’m not a toddler to be taken care of. I can watch out for myself.”_ _

__“It most certainly is.” Xander retorted, warning growl low in his throat. “We are trying to be lovers but even if this won’t work out, I thought that we were at least friends. Obviously I was mistaken. For someone who doesn’t want to be fussed over, you certainly act like a small boy. Why is it so hard for you to accept that I actually care for you?”_ _

__Ripper snorted. “You may care for your Giles, but you don’t give a damn about me.”_ _

__Xander shook his head saddened. “You really believe that, don’t you? It’s not true, but I don’t know what to say to you, to make you understand. You see, while you admit to being a part of Giles, you keep forgetting that Giles is a part of you as well. How could I care for him but not care for you? I know you think I’m stupid, but I didn’t know you thought that low of me.” Xander stood, mood destroyed completely. He suddenly shivered, which had nothing to do with the room’s temperature and everything with the loss of a warm body against his. He hugged himself looking around for his clothes, wondering whether they were still in the bathroom. “Perhaps it is better for you to leave now, Ripper.”_ _

__Xander was just passing the door frame to the hall when he heard Ripper’s soft voice speak up._ _

__“I don’t think you’re stupid at all. Never did. Never will. Aloof? Yes. Infuriating? Yes. Wicked sense of humor and way too young for everything? Most certainly so. But also passionate and brave, despite everything that happened to you; despite being the only one without supernatural powers; despite being the one left out. I think many things about you, Xander Harris. But stupid, I think not.”_ _

__Xander didn’t turn around, didn’t want to show how much Ripper’s words affected him. He shivered again and bit his lips. “Are we friends then?”_ _

__“Of course we are friends. How could I resist you? Come here, sit down on the sofa. I will… try to explain.” Xander turned and when he saw Ripper’s tired face he was scared about what he would say. But then he remembered his words and obediently took a seat on the sofa. Ripper had called him brave and he had been the one to insist Ripper tell him. He would be able to go through with it._ _

__“It was… just bad memories.” Ripper started pacing and for a moment Xander was amused to see Ripper reaching for his glasses. A moment later Ripper thought better of it, as they were still lying on his clothes in the bathroom. To see the urge in Ripper was very Giles of him and Xander’s heart skipped a beat at the realization. He waited but Ripper didn’t seem to find the words to explain himself. The younger man had never been any good with being patient so he finally decided to try and help._ _

__“Was it Ethan?” Ripper’s head whipped around and stared at him with anger. Judging by the look, Xander had hit the nail on the head, although he wasn’t sure this was a good development. Ripper seemed pissed to have been figured out. “Who told you? Did he say something to you…?”_ _

__Xander quickly shook his head and shrugged. “No. Nothing like that. It was just… kinda obvious, I guess. Seeing you at the bar, knowing, you have been with men before. Rayne’s infatuation with taking his anger out on you. I figured you two have history. I always wondered how he managed to get close enough to you to transform you into that demon.”_ _

__“We haven’t…” Ripper explained agitated, but Xander didn’t let him finish. He lifted his hands to interrupt._ _

__“I didn’t think, you did. It would not have been my business anyway. I just meant that you must have trusted him. If not now or back then in that situation, you still may have done so in your past.”_ _

__They both fell silent for a while and when Xander was certain he would never get his explanation, Ripper surprised him by speaking up. “Yes. I did. I trusted him way too much. I shouldn’t have. I knew that back then too, but I wasn’t particularly interested in acting reasonable. I never did. Instead I listened to his sweet lies. In fact, I love giving head. At least I used to love it, before I fell for him. He insisted on dominating me. There came a time, when giving head freely and on my own will wasn't enough for him. He tarnished it. At first, I relished in his dominance. I felt accepted, needed even. Then I finally realized that he was not really dominating me, but plainly using me for his own pleasures. Things went downhill from there, Eyghon just being the climax of nearly a whole year spent drowning in hate and self-pity.”_ _

__Despite his chatty self, Xander had never been really good at finding the right words in certain situations, so when he didn’t find the right ones to comfort Ripper, he stood and enfolded him within a fierce embrace of love and security. To his surprise, Ripper accepted the sentiment after the initial blocking, which the younger man easily breached. They stood there for a long moment, before Xander pulled back, reassuring smile plastered across his face. “Thanks for confiding in me.” Ripper nodded, not meeting his eyes._ _

__“I guess it’s time for another round of tea and hot chocolate.” Xander decided and made his way over to the kitchen. When he returned, Ripper had sat down back on the couch. His head rested on the backrest and he was whistling a soft tune under his breath. Xander identified it as one of the songs he had played earlier on the stage._ _

__“I love seeing you on stage.” Xander babbled unthinkingly and instantly wanted to snatch the words back. He had the sinking feeling that more sugar would be bad for his brain and his already loosened tongue. It was irony of fate, he guessed. Alcohol just made him drowsy but when he was on a sugar high people could learn all his secrets just by outright asking him. Gratefully Ripper didn’t pick up on the ‘l’-word in his earlier sentence. Perhaps Xander was just being paranoid._ _

__“So do the other men at the club usually.” Ripper purred in his most flirtatious voice as he lifted his head and grinned at him. Xander returned the grin as he placed their cups on the coffee table._ _

__“You noticed that, didn’t you? I think it’s the leather trousers. They suit you too well. I’m glad that you are wearing tweed most of the time I have to deal with you. There’s no way I would be able to concentrate otherwise.”_ _

__Ripper’s eyes narrowed and a mischievous glint appeared in them. “Now don’t pretend you weren’t used to undressing me with your eyes while I’m wearing tweed, you naughty boy.” Xander had grown this old and had spent years with a ridiculously honest vengeance demon who spoke about their sex life to everybody and at any time and just a few words from Ripper could still make him blush furiously. He tried to feign indifference. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”_ _

__Ripper’s eyes widened in surprise. “So I was right, Harris. You did have a crush on your school librarian, didn’t you?” he smirked and Xander felt his face grow hot._ _

__“Do you really want to tease the guy with whom you plan to get laid tonight?”_ _

__“I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t…” Ripper placed a bold hand in Xander’s lap and actually laughed aloud at the twitching cock beneath his fingers. “And I have the feeling you don’t really mind being humiliated…”_ _

__Xander smiled, self-conscious. “No. There are times I get off on it. But…” his face grew serious. “You said you loved giving head. Is there anything I could do to give you the pleasure of it back?”_ _

__Ripper blinked irritated at Xander’s nonchalant ability to break the mood without actually… well breaking it. He was still turned on, although he certainly doesn’t want to have that conversation right now. He sighed deeply and gave into his fate. “I guess it’s the gag-reflex that’s the biggest problem. I could never control it and when I’m not careful, I make a mess. After… him, I stopped trusting my partners not to thrust into my mouth. He did it on purpose. To humiliate me.”_ _

__Xander nodded matter-of-fact, falling silent. He looked deep in thought when suddenly his whole face lit. “I have an idea. I don’t know yet, but it might work.”_ _

__“Scary words, believe you me.” Ripper muttered under his breath but he shut up, when Xander sent him a stern look._ _

__“Wait here and I’ll gather what we’ll need. I’ll be back in a few.”_ _

__“Fine.” Ripper nodded and leaned back against the backrest, humming. A few minutes later Xander returned carrying a fistful of at least twenty ties in various colors. This collection even outnumbered Giles’. “Where did you get so many ties? I never saw you wearing one.”_ _

__"You know that my childhood wasn't the best, and my parents sucked at raising me, but my mother never forgot my birthday. I guess it doesn't count as much, because all I ever got from her were ties, one every year, since I was 5 years old. I thought that since I'll never wear them, I could use them for something better."_ _

__"What would that be?" Ripper inquired curiously._ _

__"Would you please be so kind and grab that chair for us?"Xander replied mysteriously. Ripper did as he being told and placed it in front of the fireplace._ _

__"Okay, so here's the deal. These ties should be strong enough to hold me down on the chair so that I shouldn’t be able to move a muscle without you releasing me first. This way you can make one hundred percent sure that I won't be able to thrust into your mouth against your will. You will be completely in control and together we may be able to give you your pleasure in this activity back."_ _

__Ripper seemed dumbstruck. Then, suddenly, a slow, sly smile appeared on his face. “Any other restrictions?” he asked, voice rough with arousal._ _

__Xander actually considered his question seriously before shaking his head. “Only one: no blindfolds.” He was already gesturing towards his eye-patch and looked like he wanted to explain himself but Ripper interrupted him._ _

__“I understand. You have my word. Do you use a safe word I should know about?”_ _

__“Stop?”Xander grinned and Ripper actually chuckled._ _

__“That may work as good as any other.” he admitted. “If you may take a seat then, Mr. Harris?” he gestured invitingly towards the chair and realized with surprise that Xander didn’t even hesitate for a split second. Ripper was baffled by the show of obvious trust in him. This was different than tying him up in the kitchen, which had happened in the heat of the moment. They were both turned on, but now they were still unhurried, their decisions clearly thought through. It was a novelty to do so with a new lover and Ripper relished in it._ _

__He took his time to bind the younger man to the chair. Once he had fastened another tie he stopped to kiss his inviting lips or nibble on every patch of skin he could easily reach from his kneeling position on the floor. Harris seemed eager to do this although he did shiver with what Ripper figured was tremulous keenness. There were two nice- yet plain in comparison to the rest- blue ties, which secured Xander’s wrists behind the chair. Two in unadorned forest green were used to bind Harris' ankles and each thigh to the chair. After that Ripper continued with the multicolored ties until Harris was effectively immobilized._ _

__“Are you alright?” Ripper asked once done with his handiwork. He needed to hear it from Harris’ own lips, although it probably was a silly question considering the state of the younger man’s erection. By now it had shifted colors and altered into an angry scarlet, leaking in anticipation of the things to come. Sure enough Harris rolled his eyes. “You really need to ask? Jeez, I’m fine, Ripper.” He licked his lips, pupils dilated, breathing quickened.“Do your worst.”_ _

__“As you wish.” Ripper smirked, as he gracefully sank to his knees after fetching himself a pillow to kneel on. Ripper hadn’t lied about having quite enjoyed giving head in his youth. In fact, he still did. The musky smell, the needy whines erupting from his partner’s mouth, the pulsing of the sex wrapped in his lips. For a moment he wished nothing more but to stay in this position forever. Whenever his hands were free he used his fingers to caress the flesh on Xander’s sensitive legs, exploring knees and softly scratching the skin on the inside of his thighs._ _

__A constant stream of encouraging words was uttered by Harris’ otherwise idle mouth, mostly consisting of moans and mewls and pleas. He seemed lost in the pleasure Ripper’s lips and his tongue were evoking in him. If this would have been Giles in Ripper’s place, it would have been enough, but like this, it wasn’t. Ripper’s thoughts were racing and suddenly, he knew what they both needed to make this timeless moment between them utterly perfect._ _

__With great reluctance he pulled away from the hot, twitching flesh in his mouth, taking pride in the throaty growled “No!” Harris uttered at the imminent loss. He closed his fist around the base and stroked it once, before releasing it again._ _

__“Relax. I’ll be back in a few moments.” He reassured Harris’ who just stared at him incredulously._ _

__“What’s that supposed to mean? Where are you going?” he finally demanded to know, brows furrowed in needy annoyance. “You can’t just leave me like this.”_ _

__Ripper lifted an amused eyebrow. “Oh? What do you plan to do against it?” he challenged, smirking._ _

__Xander pouted. “I could always ask you to stop.” He pointed out with a surprising ability to argue considering his state of arousal._ _

__“Ah, but you won’t, my dear boy. You are by far too curious to find out what I may have planned for you, aren’t you?” Ripper teased. “Now be a good boy and shut up, while I will look for what we’ll need.”_ _

__Xander’s pout grew, but he closed his mouth obediently. Ripper nodded with a pleased look on his face as he hurried into the bathroom. When he came back, carrying the needed items Harris eyes widened in shock and he shivered._ _

__“Alright?” Ripper asked again, curious whether Harris would agree to his idea. He didn’t need to wait long as Xander growled once, deep in his throat. “Oh yes, please.” He begged, looking scared and incredibly turned on at the same time. Ripper smirked as he knelt on his pillow, reaching for the shaving foam. As he started to spread it over Harris’ pubic hair, the younger man started to bite his lower lips as he watched him with feverish eyes. Once he reached for the razor blade both man where happy that Xander couldn’t move more than a few muscles._ _

__Ripper took his time shaving Xander’s pubic hair, his own tongue stuck in the corner of his mouth due to intensive caution on his side. Finally he was done and he could feel Xander’s legs shiver under his hands. He reached for the wet washing cloth he had brought with him and cleaned Xander carefully from the rest of the shaving cream._ _

__“Please?” Xander whimpered and Ripper certainly understood the urgency behind the word._ _

__“Yes,” he promised, “Now. I’ll hurry.” He shoved the shaving kit out of reach and quickly loosened the ties holding Xander in place._ _

__Once he had freed the younger man’s hands they both worked on the remaining ties until Xander was finally free. He launched himself instantly at Ripper, pushing him onto his back. He forced Ripper’s mouth open with his own tongue, playfully biting his lower lip while swallowing his moans and soft cries of pleasure as their erections rubbed against each other. Xander soon set a quick rhythm, old as mankind itself, pleasurable and exhausting at the same time. He came first, his release helping to ease the smooth gliding of Ripper’s erection against his stomach. A few thrusts later Ripper came as well with a sharp buck of his hips and a throaty shout. Xander took this cue to collapse on Ripper, while both man tried to regain their breath._ _

__“This,” Xander finally mumbled yawning “was amazing.”_ _

__“I agree.” Ripper purred. “You took my mark like a man.” He fondled Xander’s backside, teasing along the secret entrance hidden there._ _

__“You can’t be serious.” Xander moaned, chuckling. “I’m not that young anymore.”_ _

__“Neither am I.” Ripper rasped amused. “Doesn’t mean I can’t be looking forward to it.”_ _

__“Point taken.”Xander finally rolled off Ripper’s body and stretched like a cat. “Move to the bedroom?”_ _

__“Thought you’d never ask. Lead the way.”_ _

__Neither man moved for a long while._ _

__…_ _

__Xander woke slowly the next morning. His eyelashes fluttered, but he didn't open his good eye yet. A familiar weight over his bad eye made him frown. When was the last time he forgot to take the patch off? It usually happened only when he got laid, but… oh. The most recent events flooded his consciousness, and a small contented smile bloomed on his face._ _

__When he finally opened his good eye Xander realized several things at once. He was still naked and another naked male body lay firmly pressed against his back. During the night they had at some point managed to move to the bed, where they had found the strength to actually put the lube and one of the condoms in his bedside drawer to good use. The pleasant memory brought a big, cheesy grin to his face as he felt the breathing in his neck change. Somebody was obviously waking up and Xander freed himself from the firm embrace to turn around and look at his new lover’s face._ _

__The older man blinked, frowned and reached for his glasses on the nightstand. Xander’s heart started to race as he realized who was lying right next to him in bed. Ripper seemed completely gone for the time being, as Giles blinked stupidly at him through his glasses, irises as forest green as ever._ _

__“Uhm.” Giles said and pulled the glasses off to clean them._ _

__“Good morning, Giles.” Xander offered, curious how his old friend would react._ _

__“Good morning.” Giles mumbled, taken aback at the use of his name, but not trying to show it._ _

__“Did you expect me to freak?” Xander wondered, head cocked to one side._ _

__Giles shrugged, eyes shifting to fix a point at the wall. “Maybe.” He finally offered, softly._ _

__“Are you going to freak out on me?” Xander wondered aloud._ _

__“I…” Giles looked back at him. “…don’t know, yet.” He answered honestly. “Do you want me to leave?”_ _

__Xander’s eyes grew big. “Now that would be incredibly dumb, G-man. I have enough groceries here to make a decent breakfast, which you will need for a new, straining day as the Head of the Council, Giles.”_ _

__“Won’t this feel awkward?” Giles wanted to know and his insecurity was actually cute, Xander found as he leaned in to place a soft kiss on his partner’s stubbly cheek._ _

__“Only if we make it so. But I see no reason why that should happen. I know Ripper didn’t believe me, when I told him about it, but I care for both of you. Considering last night I am also pretty sure, both of you feature similar feelings for me.”_ _

__He let this sink for a moment, while Giles cleaned away on his glasses. Finally Giles seemed to come to a decision, as he cautiously placed his glasses back on the bedside table. When his gaze met Xander’s a few sprinkles of brown had mixed into the forest green. He was also featuring a sly, hungry smile as he leaned in to pull Xander into a proper good morning kiss. When their mouths came apart about a minute later, they were both breathing harshly, as Giles mumbled against Xander’s lips._ _

__“Breakfast can wait. So can the Council. I’d rather learn about that interesting array of toys I glimpsed in your drawer last night…”_ _

__Xander flushed a little, grin inviting on his face. “Your wish will be my command.”_ _

__…_ _

__Endless End_ _

__First version: Cologne, March 2006  
Second revised edition: Saarland, September 2012_ _

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first story I moved from my ffnet account. Other old stories will follow, but there will be brandnew stories and podfics as well.


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